I promise I was going to try my best with the 30 days but life is unpredictable. Over the past 2 weeks I have taken one of the biggest career shakes I have had to experience in 3 years of full time working. I not only had to reevaluate what I was going to be doing next year, I also had to reevaluate what I was going to do next term.
The bottom line is I am feeling bullied in the workplace. It feels cowardly to say, as a twenty something I shouldn't be the subject of bullying nor should a fifty something year old woman be able to bully me, let alone my manager, but that is what is happening.
Last weekend was the toughest of my life mentally. I broke down, I fell apart and I hated myself. I haven't ever felt like that, I have never had anyone make me feel so low as this person had managed. I have spent years being proud of a resilience which has protected me from so much but it shattered. Nothing could keep me together and I barely managed coherent thought. The worst part about it is I am truly convinced this person takes pride in her maliciousness.
I've decided I will continue to teach until the end of the year, I'm not a quitter and because to let her break me to the point of leaving early would be a harder task for me to come back from. I will give in my notice when I see fit and will not fall to her bullying. As I leave I will make my issues known so that others do not fall to her ways, I will be proud that I attempted to forge a career in a hostile environment and I will not be upset that it didn't work out.
I am a dreamer and a planner and I will follow the dream without the plans because I need to find my way without the negativity that has been brought into my life.
For now I will not make promises to when I will complete each venture and I will not follow a timetable here because here, this blog, is my secret place where I can vent my frustrations and share my joys without the negativity of the world which surrounds me.
I will not post for everyday the next 30 days, I will get stronger, I will work on me and I will not back down to bullies.
- A Twenty Something